This Morning

Ok, so you'll have to forgive me on this one as it has only a faint connection to the purpose of my blog and the Volunteer journey I'll be embarking on in a few weeks (I believe the countdown is now T-minus 20 days!).  Still, what I've read from other bloggers - and some advice from friends - tells me that sometimes you're just moved to put thoughts down in writing, and I think this fits that description precisely.

So last night I went to see the final installment of the Batman movie trilogy with my brother Terence and my cousin TJ.  We really enjoyed the movie and it was a great chance to get in some time hanging out with my family before I leave for Scranton.  Then, this morning I woke up to the news of the Aurora, Colorado shootings that took place at the premiere last night and the 12 people who had died as a result.  I can't say exactly why, but I've been struggling to reconcile this event in my brain and (for the first time in a while) I felt that urgent need to pray for those lost in this attack, their family, their friends, and even for the man responsible for the shooting*.  So often, I feel as though prayer becomes less of a impulse in our lives and more of an obligatory act.  There seem to be these prescribed times and places at which prayer becomes "appropriate" or - even worse - compulsory.  As a result, it can be hard for us to truly feel as though our prayers are meaningful, substantive, or even heard by God.  And then there come times in life when we feel that whisper from within to pray, and I mean really pray, not the textbook "Hail Mary...blessed fruit...Amen" regurgitation type of prayer, but real, heartfelt prayer in which we break the prescribed rules of praying (i.e. time/place/method) and truly open ourselves up to God.

I guess the point of my story is that this morning, in the most unexpected and unfortunate of ways, I had one of those prayerful moments as I thought about the victims of this attack and their families.  For me, song has always provided a powerful alternative to the standardized run-of-the-mill type of prayer and so a mournful offering through song will be my choice of prayer for those who lost their lives early this morning.  What will yours be?

*I found this in a Jesuit prayer book, Hearts on Fire, and I thought it particularly helpful this morning.  In case you're struggling to find an alternative way of praying, perhaps this might provide some help and inspiration:

From Death to Life
Jesus Christ, may your death be my life
and in your dying may I learn how to live.
May your struggles be my rest,
Your human weakness my courage,
Your embarrassment my honor,
Your passion my delight,
Your sadness my joy,
in your humiliation may I be exalted.
In a word, may I find all my blessings in your trials.
Amen.
 - Blessed Peter Faber, SJ